Hi, My Name is Horseless Horse Crazy, and No, I Can’t Ride: A Shoutout to the Truly Horseless

I’ll put it to you guys straight: I don’t usually write these types of articles.

Why? Well, probably because I don’t like to read them. Inspirational articles have never been my cup of tea. Maybe it’s the medium I consume (the ones I see most are usually lifestyle/Christianity related). Sure, I read the inspirational articles in Horse Illustrated and Young Rider when I subscribed, but that was because I was paying thirty bucks a year, and I was gonna get my thirty bucks out of every page.

To be honest, I’ve been thinking about writing this article for a while, but I haven’t because I thought I would be a hypocrite. Not because I’m not horseless– I am, horseless as all get out– but just because I don’t like when people write these articles, so why should I write them?

But, as I was trying to think of what to write for this week’s blog post (and as usual for the last few weeks, gravitating to posts about writing), I became faced with a stark truth:

I chose a very hard niche to write for.

Yeah, I know, I write HORSES. There’s literally thousands of topics.

Well yes… and no.

One of my greatest struggles with coming up for content for this site is the fact that my heart is for the horseless horse crazies– specifically, the ones who can’t even go ride horses. I look at people who say they are horseless and just mean they can’t own one and honestly, I get annoyed. You still ride? You’re not horseless. You just don’t own a horse. There’s a difference. So when I say horseless, I mean really horseless.

When I started the blog, I was riding for the first time after years of true horselessness. And now, almost two years after launch, I’m back to where I was– no riding lessons or a horse in sight.

And I’ve accepted that. I don’t have time or money for a horse or lessons. I’m just in another horseless seasons of life. I survived one, I can survive another.

But I think it’s affected the content of the site. Because I’m starting to realize… it’s really hard to write for people like us. Other horse magazines could spend weeks writing on riding habits or horse ownership or feeding horses right or half a dozen other topics that are really only relevant to those who are around horses.

How do you write articles about horses relevant to those who don’t own horses? You can only do so many breed profiles, art tutorials, reviews, and discipline breakdowns before things become mundane. And honestly, half the other publications offer much of the same things.

How do you write about horses when every sentence reminds you of how there’s no horse in sight?

How do you keep that little inner horse crazy kid alive when the world of adulting demands more of your attention and responsibility?

How do you keep dreaming of that someday horse when even thinking about the future throws you into a hyperventilating panic attack?

The answer?

I… have no idea.

I’m not that child who could hold on through stories and toys. I’m not even the rider who could just be satisfied with every other week lessons. I’m just the desperately horse crazy girl, too busy to play, holding on through a little website, the time I have to read, and my own fiction. I’ve accepted the season I’m in. But how do you move beyond acceptance to reignite that love when it just hurts so much?

I cope by not thinking about it. Because, to quote Brom Bones: “thinking is hard”. And I don’t want my thinking to turn into toxic brooding that ruins relationships I have with others. I don’t like this feeling of discontent in my soul.

But at the same time, not thinking about horses has led to that little horse crazy girl going silent and fading. And that might be even more painful than being reminded about how little real life horse time I get.

On top of it all… there’s the loneliness of feeling like I’m alone. Unseen. I know I’m not, because this website has stuck around for a reason, but in real life I live in an area where the horse crazy girls… ride horses. Or own horses. And most girls my age are waiting and praying about their future husbands, wishing for a boyfriend. I’m over here waiting and praying about a future horse, wishing for another chance to remember what a horse smells like.

Priorities, ya know. Heh.

Funny how I’m more surrounded by equids than I was when I was little, and yet I feel the horselessness more keenly.

But… I’m not alone. And neither are you. Maybe the niche is small because the markets struggle to see how to make money off of us (after all, we don’t play with toys and we have no interest in buying saddles), but that doesn’t mean that we should all suffer in lonely silence. I see you. You’re like me. We don’t quite know why we’re so obsessed with these four-legged creatures, but we keep holding onto that love because… it’s just who we are. We are gloriously, wonderfully horse crazy, and dang proud of it, even if it hurts when we can’t see or touch them ourselves.

So, horseless girl, wherever you are, sit down, grab a cup of whatever is your favorite comfort drink (mine is hazelnut coffee with caramel stevia and goat milk XP), and tell me about your horseless experience. Tell me about what you’re struggling with in a horseless existence. Share what you do to keep your horse love alive! I read every comment and I’ll reply to as many as I can.

Maybe we can help each other feel a little less alone.

Have a collection of horse memes to make you smile.