Do Parents Have a Place in Stories?

The dead parents. The idiotic parents. The constricting parents. The unrelatable parents. The abandoning parents.

It seems that TV, books, and movies have the idea that parents are pretty useless in stories. Disney loves killing off parent characters so much, that the term “Disney Parent” has been coined as a parent character made only to die. Or, perhaps they are complete idiots who have no idea what’s going on in the hero’s life and are totally clueless to the fact that their child is trying to save the world. Or they are just another obstacle in the character’s path to victory.

With all of these parents written in common media, a writer can start to wonder: do parents really have a place in story? Or are they just a cheap excuse for extra suspense in the character’s life?

My answer? Yes. And No.

Of course parents have a place in story. But their place isn’t what mainstream media wants to show.

What if parent’s roles aren’t to be a sad memory of times gone by, or an obstacle, but a mentor and an advisor to the hero? What if the coming-of-age protagonist was guided into their new identity as an individual and adult by their parents instead of considering them as an obstacle stifling their style?

That’s what I’m going to show to you today.

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Why Are Parents the Villains?

Why are parents considered the villains in so many stories? I asked this question myself while listening to a podcast on archetypal characters. While listening to the “Maiden Arc” episode, I was shocked to hear all of the examples in Maiden Arcs involving parents who basically sold away their children for their own benefit.

(The Maiden Arc, if you don’t know, is the basic “coming of age” plot where the main character tries to find their own place in the world).

And the other day I was reminded of the parent death count when I watched this gag video by Studio C (it’s clean, I promise you. Totally G-rated)

I had to ask myself: why are parents considered to be such an obstacle for teens to overcome in these stories?

I think it comes down to the messages that secular media wants to portray. It’s not “cool” for teens to love their parents: they have to be rebellious and figure out their own way. Besides, everyone knows that teens are smarter than adults.

Personally, I think these are just all lies that mainstream media wants us to believe. They want to create a divide between parents and children.

And the sad thing? It’s working.

One study showed that parents spend about 7 minutes a week talking to their kids. Seven minutes. Owch. More than ever parents are considered the “bad guys”. Teens apparently need to find their own way, ignore the wise advice of those older than them, and need to blaze their own paths.

Okay. If your parents are telling you to do something that harms you and is obviously wrong, that’s different. But your parents are not your enemies. And neither should your character’s parents.

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It Doesn’t Have to Be This Way

Parents aren’t the bad guys! And they don’t have to be bad guys in coming-of-age stories either.

In The Phantom Stallion, Sam sometimes feels stifled by her father’s protectiveness. But her dad is always there for her, gives her advice, and her stepmother Brynna fills the role of her previous mom, even though Sam balks at the idea at first. The relationship between Sam and her parents is part of why I love The Phantom Stallion so much.

Another great example is Wanted: A Superhero to Save the World by Bryan Davis. The main character, Eddie, is a twelve-year-old who accidentally turns his little sister into a superhero with an invention. When they are tasked with saving their world from an evil inventor and his little sister ends up hurt, Eddie goes to his mom for help– and she actually plays a huge role in the second half of the story.

I think there should be more parents who play the role as mentors (mentors who don’t die, that is) who help guide the protagonist into their new identity as a separate being.

Because guess what– parents are smarter! This is backed by science. The prefrontal cortex section of your brain (right in front) is in charge of logic and reasoning. And it’s not fully mature until about 25-28! Up till then it changes and reforms drastically. Parents are meant to be the prefrontal cortex for their kids so they don’t get hurt by inexperience.

Not to mention all the verses in the Bible about parents and kids:

Proverbs 1:8 My child, listen when your father corrects you. Don’t neglect your mother’s instruction. (NLT)

Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord (NLT)

Proverbs 17:6b Parents are the pride of their children.

Parents are the pride of their children. How beautiful is that?

As writers, we CAN make a difference in the common thought pattern through what we write. We can change the status quo of what the world deems parents should be.

And perhaps even more so as Christians, we should be encouraging the use of good parents in writing.

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No More Dead Parents

So, how do we do it? How do we start swimming upstream against the media norms of parenting in our writing? Do young writers even have a place to do so?

I think so.

First of all, no more idiotic/dead parents. Or, if there is a requirement for a lack of biological parents in the story, create a mentor character who can fill that gap for the protagonist.

I did this in my WIP. My male protagonist never had a father figure in the picture, but over the years of his life he’s had others to fill in that role– first his guardian after his mom disappeared, and then a family friend after his guardians were killed by Patrols, and then after those friends were executed, he found his stepfather whose mentorship carries him through the rest of the book. These men who have acted in place of a father for the MC when he needed it most replace the biological father that his mom never wanted him to meet.

Model after your own parents, or read books with excellent parent characters. Some of those that I would recommend are:

• The Green Ember series by S. D. Smith
• The Mysterious Benedict Society series by Trenton Lee Stewart
• The Phantom Stallion series by Terri Farley
• The Guardian Herd series by Jennifer Lynn Alvarez
• Wanted: A Superhero to Save the World by Bryan Davis
• The Star that Always Stays by Anna Rose Johnston
• Greetings from Witness Protection by Jake Burt
• The Misty of Chincoteague Series by Marguerite Henry

Some of these books do have dead/missing parents, BUT the author fills in those holes with mentor characters. In The Guardian Herd series, Star loses his mother at a young age, but is raised by a mare named Silvercloud who guides him throughout the rest of the series with wise advice.

It’s okay to have parents jump in and help the hero! I love the scenes where dads jump in to defend their kids. Involve the parents in the story– don’t just push them to the side. Have them help and guide the protagonist to becoming who they are– let the parents give advice, but don’t make them over-protectively smother the main character.

There does come a point where the protagonist does need to step out of her own world and reach beyond, but her parents should also be there to help her to that point.

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I hope you enjoyed this article! What is your opinion on parents in stories? What do you think writers could do to change the “normal” parent ideal in stories?